Vague

Less than 20 minutes to go and I am supposed to be celebrating..we are… But unfortunately…it’s the opposite…..

A night to remember…the only night I wish I could go back to right now and make things right.. But I can’t.. Nobody can… The only thing that I can do now is face the fact that it’s already in the past.. I just have to live the day, and try to forget things that hurt.. I only want to be happy.. I just wanna be happy.. But no matter how I try, it’s still the same…

Why can’t u understand?…

I just hope that one day… I’ll wake up with this thing inside healed..gone..

i really am not feeling well ryt now.. i’m doing fine.. ayt.. but not.. gets? f u dnt, naah… dnt ask.. coz i dnt undrstand either.. let me jst sing to you a song.. (jst imagine that i’m ryt bsyd u, singing that song to you.. here it goes..

    i’m afraid to fly.. and i dnt know why.. i’m jealous of the people who are not        afraid to fly..    it’s jst that i recall.. back when i was small.. someone promised that they’d catch me.. but then they’d let me fall..

    and now i’m fallin.. fallin fast again…. why do i always take a fall, when I fall in love?

i’m not actually afraid of fallin.. but it’s jst this question that bugs me…

    AM I REALLY NOT WORTH IT? Y AREN’T THEY PROUD OF ME?

i know i’m not perfect.. and i know that i’m difficult to understand at times… but why is that so?? i may not be gorgeously and glamorously perfect.. (hindi ako celebrity! at alam ko un!) but i give all the love that i can… (mahirap ba ‘kong mahalin?)

oh, well.. anyway… ngkita kmi ni Madel knina.. my ever dearest cousin.. how I miss the days when we were younger.. those days when the love that we just needed was the love of our parents and the rest of our family.. just that and nothing more…

well, again… haha.. just as a dear friend told me, it’s all part of growing up..

til next time… xoxo

my friends are kind of getting tired of my stories… even if they keep on listenin’ to me, i know they are.. it’s just that i keep on thinking of things that they think aren’t worthy of being thought.. but what can i do when all these things matter a lot to me? simple things.. simple acts.. simple thoughts.. such things often hurt me.. unconsciously, and perhaps unintentionally, they do.. i am emotional.. i am sensitive.. yes, i am… my closest friends for sure already know this… how i wish they are with me right now… how i wish they can be with me in times when i can’t take things anymore.. when i am about to cry.. but actually, when they’re around, i feel numb.. it’s not that i don’t feel anything.. but the rain doesn’t pour.. i dunno if i should be writing all of these stuff and post a blog here right now.. but there’s one big thing that keeps on buggin’ me a lot… and.. it’s just that i can’t make somebody do or stop doin’ things. sometimes, i even get tired of myself thinking of these things. it’s a feeling that you think u want to surrender and stop.. but u’re heart’s still beating and it tells u not to.. wanna know what these things are??!? love somebody!!!!! and u’ll understand me.